I am calling to wish you well. I am calling because I want to change something I said. A year ago you asked me three questions. I thought you were asking my birthday wishes and answered all wrong. If you remember (if I know you you'll pretend you don't) I answered:

1) No. I have always been homely.
2) Yes. I believe you have always been too lovely for anyone to bear.
3) Silk. It is not always expensive, and it is impossible to tear.


It's my birthday again and because I am cleverer I can answer you with more nerve. But because I am still me I am pitiless enough to have your number and to call you with this excuse to let you know I am still alive (I won't push it by telling you that I am wonderful).

1) Yes. Thank you.
2) No. I found a most repulsive photo.
3) Same. Though I don't think of you, still it's a near-perfect heat. And so dear when ruined.

--Brenda Shaughnessy, Interior with Sudden Joy

and -
"..well,  maybe when we're common-law."
produces a sour milk smile.

and i wonder, what shall i end up settling for.
but i know myself better than this, and i will have all, or nothing.

it's easy to catch a snake, when they're so attracted to apples.

One of Ted Bundy's alias' was Chris Hagen.

.

 


 Feels that things stand in her way
 that circumstances are forcing her 
 to compromise and forgo
 some pleasures for the time being.




she needs to learn to listen to herself, 
and trust her first instinct.

everyone is supposed to have some vague notion of a
 "type". the sort of person that they're attracted to. Well,
 the only thing that ties my string of "long term" beaus 
together, is that they all have the potential to be serial 
killers... what does that say about me?

"...
you're so nice 
and you're so smart
you're such a good friend 
i hafta break your heart
tell you that i love you 
then i'll tear your world apart
just pretend i didn't 
tear your world apart
                   ..."

sure, i think he's a good time -
but tricks don't get a weekend pass to family hour.
.

Jane Sexes It Up
by Catherine I. Eisenhower

Jane in her
blue skirt, Jane in her prime
supple time
Jane sifting,
Jane drifting,
Jane striding over
linoleum
like a legend.

...just like daddy.

i'm going to buy another baby.
more life to love,
more learning.

 
 
 
 
 .
 

 

I am a miserable, filthy liar.
to myself, to everyone else
.. ha - and to him.
clearly & always to him.

I would say yes.
I would hop trains, 
and get married in Vegas
all you would have to do
is ask. isn't that simple?
and absolutely terrifying?

there is you.
then there is I.
regardless of
the population, 
there will never 
really, truly be 
anyone
 in between. 
..hypocrite.

2+.
god, it's sickening.

and it's entirely unfortunate..
for those that get caught up
in my aftermath. i have a lot
of unsent apologies. but i'm
not much the sort for apologies.

I can not stop shaving, plucking, tweezing..
it must be a subconscious attempt 
to make up for the lack of femininity. 



.

today isn't a day for makeup.
it's not a pretending day.


i so badly need to spill my heart out,
however - i am far too emotionally
stunted to be able to complete
such a task.  but i'd like to try.

 

( My Puss - Margaret Cho )

youtube this!

ps. STRANGERSTRANGERDANGERBOY

you keep calling
me beautiful-
and i feel a little
more insulted
each time-

i'm so sick & tired,
of being the go-to girl,
the fall back girl.
day after day
it doesn't matter what you do,
because
i'll still be there,
isn't that right?
isn't that what you think?
 

...the biggest fool. 






/

 and then he has to go and become
 that boy. you know, the one i'm in
crazy-forever-till-the-day-i-die love with.
i wish he would just keep that boy
the hell away from me. i can handle
all of his other persons. but that one..
that one brings me to my knees.
Metaphorically & physically.



,

a brief list of some of my favorite words
and they are as follows;

a] Void

b] Vexxed

c] Verbose

d] Abhore

e] Prude

f] Commence

g] Concur


!@%*#$&

"...i know men are delicate
origami creatures
who need women to unfold them
hold them when they cry
but i am tired of being your savior
and i am tired of telling you why ..."




.

 You told me that I was beautiful once.                                                                                                      

I want to alienate all those close to me, 
and embrace strangers.
and I wish I was more.



i'm stealing a wireless connection.
I doubt it will last for more than a few minutes.

"The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born. 
She never existed before. 
The woman existed,
but the mother, never. 
A mother is something
absolutely new."